You can’t overestimate the importance and power of knowing what you want. Let’s start by asking the question, “What DO you want – really?” Are you finding that the answer doesn’t leap to the front of your mind?The struggle in your brain might be because there is a big caveat involved in coming up with your Want: You can have ANYTHING you want, but not EVERYTHING that you want.
When you have clarity about what it is that you want, you gather your resources to go after it. You invest things like time and money and emotional and physical energy toward accomplishing it. You might pull resources from something else so you have more to contribute to this big Want. While balance can be important over the long term, you might have to go intentionally WAAYY out of balance for a while if you are truly committed to your Want. You only have so much time and money and energy, and when you are single-minded about something you don’t want to squander any of it.
How do you know that THIS is THE ONE?
Your Want (or get really SMART about it and call it a goal) needs to pass the “so what?” test. When the going gets tough, and it’s likely that it will, you need to know WHY. You need to be acutely aware of the tangible and intangible rewards of getting there, and in full knowledge of the consequences if you don’t. Write them down so you don’t get amnesia about the WHY in the middle of your pursuit. If the combined strength of the rewards and the magnitude of the consequences are big enough to convince you that this is WHAT YOU WANT you will not quit if it becomes inconvenient, or you become tired, or you experience setbacks.
If you don’t know what you want right now, you might benefit from being coached through a self-assessment process that walks you through the various dimensions of your life. You might be feeling good right where you are in your work life, for instance, but have been so focused there that you have forgotten to take care of your social life, or your health, or – yes, we’ll say it – your family in the way that you would want to. Ultimately during the self-assessment process something comes to the foreground as priority.
Another benefit from going through a self-assessment is that you can determine what parts of your life can withstand a bit less attention for a while as you pursue your Want. Remember, this is about allocating your resources, and it’s important to do it with conscious intention, on purpose.
Stop looking at what you DON’T WANT
Although the majority of our Summit coaching engagements are focused on pursuing positive outcomes, it’s not easy for everyone. Sometimes clients have a hard time seeing possibility. Instead their visual field is consumed with the various forms of disaster that could befall them. If you keep staring at the curb on the side of the road you ARE going to run into it.
This is an issue of predominant habits of thought. Habits are formed, and they can be reformed. They can be addressed through coaching too, as the client “builds a bigger box” with intentionally formed new habits of thought (attitudes) and practices of self-talk that are in better alignment with the positive outcomes they really desire.